Monday, 15 February 2010

And the damn cough just never lets up.

Well well well.

I'm almost finished Cipro and I don't feel at all different. In fact, half way through the course, I've had at least three people ask me, more than once, if I'm ok b/c I don't look well.


My 6th form tutor would ask me this a lot. The funny thing is, she'd think I looked ok when I felt like hell, and when I was ok, she'd say I looked ill. Warped.

On Sunday night, I barely slept at all. I mean, I cough a lot in the first place, and I'm obviously used to it b/c I generally sleep through it (Sorry poor fucks who can hear me! I've been known to wake people up a lot. In fact, my Mum usually tells me when I've been coughing all night b/c she's had to try and sleep through it. My family take the piss by having excellent hearing too). Anyway. So, on Sunday night, I kept getting woken up by my own incessant coughing. Every. 10. minutes. Which was pissing me off, a lot. By 4am, I'd already woken up and tried to get back to sleep more than several times, and I was starting to get one of those killer coughing headaches, closely accompanied by the sore throat from hell. Plus, I'd been trying to sleep since about 12.30am, which may be slightly early for me, but I'd been awake really early the day before so we could go to Chinese New Year.

People appear to be in denial and keep saying that Cipro has helped. Um, no it hasn't. I pointed out I wasn't, in fact, coughing this much before Cipro walked on the scene. I also took the piss by quoting myself from two weeks ago, where I repeatedly said to anyone who would listen 'Cipro doesn't work, and it hasn't worked adequately for me for about 2 years'.

I'm back at hospital for another appt near the end of Feb. And I'll probably still be coughing loads unless it decides to bugger off on its own. Which never happens, but I can still hope, right? What'll happen, is my Dr will point out I'm still coughing a lot, and Cipro didn't do it's job properly (You think?!) Then he'll say it's still too early for IVs seeing as my last dose finished 5 weeks ago (I've only ever had IVs again one month after finishing the last dose once before. And I really bloody needed them that time). So, I'll be sent off home on my merry way to suffer this lovely, flattering cough forever more.

I'm not sure what my LF will be. I still feel the same as before starting Cipro, but the bastard tablet has a habit of temporarily increasing my lung function, so it doesn't reflect on how I feel at the time. Even though I finish Cipro a week before the appt, if my LF has increased, I won't seem, medically, as ill as I feel I guess. What I am worried about is my weight. I don't eat much in the first place whilst on Cipro, but with all the extra coughing, I'm terrified I've lost weight again. It's really pissing me off. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I weighed myself before and after xmas dinner. And I fucking lost weight AFTER it. I don't know exactly how I managed to loose 3lbs after eating enough to satisfy a small army, but I've always been weird that way.

Oh well. All I know is at least I'll not be ill enough to be thrown into hospital completely for IVs. I'm not complaining. It's boring as fuck in there. But what does bother me, is that I haven't recently had staying into hospital even suggested in the past, like when I lost 20% of my normal lung function, lost weight, had no energy at all and generally looked (and felt) like death. I couldn't even finish the damn lung function tests. And I just got IVs and sent home. What didn't help was me running myself into the ground at school, but that's just the way I am. I need someone to tell me to stop. And no one did. So I guess, it's always in the back of my mind that I'll end up really ill one time and still sent off to skip home with IVs, rather than being stuck in hospital to get better (cause, there's nothing else to do).

Meh. I got bored again and took more pics. I believe the term is 'Cam Whore'. Yeah.


Anonymous said...

Like the hat!


MBNAD woman said...

Ditto - fab hat. I'd love to get one but I fear that my son and daughter would expire with embarrassment.

Sorry about the coughing - I won't say anything stupid about "hope it gets better soon".

Mad x

Kiz said...

Haha aw Meggles, love the second picture down, SO cute, i think its that expression that does it. And the Bear hat, or as you said: *Technically, its a panda* hat. Technically pandas arent Beige :-D hehe.

U need Doxycycline, fuck Cipro. Ask for it, seriously, ul love it. Want me to send you some?

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