Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Such is my life.

Ah, waiting for my A2 results is SO nerve racking, and it's not for another month. Great. If only I had something to occupy my time with, say, going to a party or two. Oh yes, that's right. My mates don't tell me when they're having one. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends to bits, and more, but I'm really hating this new decision to exclude me from having fun. They're either forgetting about me or thinking that they'd rather I weren't wherever, as you can't claim that a party is totally last minute when pretty much everyone you know is there. It just means by the time you've remembered the one person you didn't tell, it's most likely past 1am.

I'm so fucking bored its just not funny anymore.

I went to see Harry Potter and the half blood prince on Tues. It was good, but they did miss out a few things, and replaced them with bits that weren't in the book *cough* Lupin-and-Tonks-totally-weren't-supposed-to-be-together-yet *cough*. But I saw a subtitled version, and I'm glad I did. It was only half way through the movie when I realised I've followed the entire thing, rather than sitting there, trying to understand the odd sentence. I think the only downside was that I was sitting in front of the kind of person who kicks your seat throughout the movie. And she was an adult too. I mean, geez, keep your feet to yourself! (Or sit at the front of the damn theatre!)

I think the sad thing is that this movie is what I've been looking forward to for weeks, and now its done.

Before the movie started, everyone was talking, like you do. But it was different. Bear in mind I said I saw a subtitled version. This meant being surrounded by other deaf people, and it was surreal. Groups of friends were talking in sign language, and I wondered why I've never bothered to learn. I've always thought that I'd find it difficult - learning foreign languages were never the simplest thing for me, so why should sign language be any different? Plus there is the fact that I've been against learning sign language as that would almost be like admitting I'm deaf, and being Ok with it. For the record, I don't think I'll ever accept my deafness with open arms. After all, just 8 years ago, my hearing was 100%. An even funnier (in a deeply sarcastic way, if you will) thing is that my entire family, all generations and all ages have perfect hearing.

I'm happy that my 18th is less than two weeks away. First off, I'll have less chance to be classed as 'some teenager', as 18 qualifies as an adult (yeah, I know the age still has the word 'teen' in it, but surely it has something to do with the new totally legal ability to buy alcohol) and you get treated with more respect rather than 'kid, piss off, won't you?'. I'm kinda directing this to some woman who bogarted the CF boards a short while ago. And I'm totally Ok with a bitch session about her, as she was frankly, totally rude, and I really, really doubt she's reading this - I was one of the main people she, well, to put it in a light and fluffy way, didn't really like.

So, she wanders into the CF forum, and starts banging on about this herbal method that she's been using for years, claiming its much more effective than any of our Doctor recommended things, and pretty much tells us that we're taking poison. (When people argued about this, she quickly changed her previous posts and said we were lying.) So, many people were wary, I mean, she was pretty much mentioning these products in every single post, and sounding quite like your average door-to-door salesman/woman who just won't go away. I argued about it a bit, and then in every single fucking post, she mentioned how she was being 'attacked' by us (because apparently, we aren't allowed to have our own views) and that a few stupid teenagers were causing the main argument. Now, me and Rob -yo!-, a guy who is also on the board (and has a blog, it's in my blog roll) were the main arguers, and he is 18. Regardless that we're both old enough to have our own views and prefer the adult section rather than the teen section of the boards, and the fact that many people believe that a teenager with CF is relatively more mature than a random healthy 17-18 year old, this woman pretty much calls us stupid teens and in short, it sounded like she'd rather we'd go back to the kid section of the board.

Was it because we're 17/18 that this woman chose to pick on our responses, saying that we're a bunch of kids who are just looking for an argument? Either way, I'm glad that at least some people will stop treating me like a kid. No offence to anyone on the CF boards, as you're all totally amazing and wonderful *insert many more lovely fluffy words here*, but at the moment, I can't help but feel that no one actually reads whatever the hell I put on there. There's completely random topics that people will flood with replies, and mine don't even get much of a look in if I'm honest. I think that others just think I'm a kid right now, and I've got nothing interesting to say. That, and my amazing ability to ramble on several paragraphs.


Tori said...

She was just targeting you guys because it was the easiest avenue!! I thought at one point she was calling me immature but when I called her out on it she quickly changed her mind.

I would answer your posts if I could help :)

MBNAD woman said...

I obviously didn't see the comments but there are nutters all over the internet. I was reading a blog the other day, where the writer was talking about her marriage break up. Some complete fuckwit posted a comment inviting her for some entertainment of the carnal variety. And it wasn't a joke.
For what it's worth, I am constantly amazed by the maturity of your writing here. I can remember being 17 (probably more clearly than I remember what I did last week); looking forward to my 18th birthday and anticipating A level results. I remember the emotions as well as the events. Totally self-absorbed, immature and having no sense of direction whatsoever. Bit like now really.

People will always pigeon hole you on the basis of a label. That really is their problem not yours. They are the ones cutting themselves off from other people's perspectives and narrowing their own lives.

Hey - next week you'll be 18. She'll always be stupid.

Mad x

Jessica said...

I read what you say! And I CARE what you say... I just stopped lurking and registered on I think Tuesday though (on Cf2chat, not the other one), so don't take it personally that I haven't responded :o)

And I think you are AWESOME, period, but especially for a 17yo, and especially especially dealing with the hearing issues you do ON TOP OF CF itself! Don't let cranky lady get you down...sorry I haven't been as responsive lately, I'm SWAMPED...all good stuff, but too busy to even blog about. Update this weekend.

Hang in there!


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