Slightly random, totally bonkers.

Ok, so I promised a list of 6 reasons of why I'm practically insane. Although others would probably just say these things make me, well, me. So, if we're getting technical now, here's a list of completely random things about me, which basically define me.

1. I give off the worst first impressions. This is mainly due to the fact I can't really understand people, and when they first meet me, they don't know I'm deaf, so they warble away, and I either just smile and nod (so when they ask a question I look a complete prat and like I'm not interested. Which ain't good.) Or totally get distracted and wander off, so they think I don't like them. It's a dog eat dog world that's pretty hard to win in.

2. My laugh. I sound weird. Plus when I start laughing randomly at something, especially if its really funny (If I'm watching 'Live at the Apollo', be warned). But sometimes I will laugh for ages, at the most random thing, whilst people look like they're thinking 'Right, you keep her busy, I'll get a big net.'

3. That damn scar across my stomach from the operation I had at 1 day old. I forget the name of the operation. Its all official and everything, and a wonderful long name with bits of Latin thrown about in it, but too long for me to remember. Obviously. Either way, I can't pronounce it anyway. As I was saying, that scar that goes all across from one side of my stomach to the other, and is just above my belly button, makes it look like I've got a 'spare tyre', which is ridiculous. I'm not boasting here, but I don't exactly have much meat on me, but the little I do have just sits really badly around that scar. Its stupid really. Although It never used to look much like that as when I was 11 I got my first feeding tube (down my nose, classy!) I bearly weighed anything. So the fact I do actually have weight on me is a good thing.

4. The fact that I only realised that I love photography whilst at a photo shoot. Yes, before that I did like it, but never considered it as a job. I never thought about what I'd like to do in college yet alone as a job, but now, I'm applying to college for a 2 year photography course and I've got my camera. My dream job as a kid was a hairdresser. Somehow, spitting hair out all day doesn't appeal to me anymore.

5. The fact that I talk really really fast, yet I need people to talk slower to me so I can understand them (and I still don't.) I talk relatively fast to the point of not even being able to pronounce words properly, and getting tongue twisted. Its irritating and I can't speak slower even if you paid me. I also don't make much sense.

6. I have a total of 9 scars, soon to be 10. The first 3 are on my forehead, from me and my daredevil years (When I was 3, although they're all from separate incidents). Number 4 is on my chin, involving a stupid moment in the swimming baths where I slipped off the edge and cracked my chin off the side. Number 5, 6, 7 and 8 are from Port-a-caths. I'm onto port-a-cath number 3 now, as number one, when I was 11, conked out after 3 months. Number 2 lasted 5 years, and number 3 is slightly bigger and more noticeable. Apparently it's all down to the surgeon you get, but this one gave me a port with the tube in my neck, which you can always see. Strain your neck, and you'll see the muscles that stick out. Now imagine that all the time, as part of my port. Lovely. Two of the scars are on my neck, either side, and two are next to my shoulders, either side. (I don't see why they couldn't just keep all three on one side. I have an extra 2 scars all because the surgeon prefered to work on the other side.) Scar number 9 is the one that goes all across my stomach, and soon-to-be scar number 10 is where my current feeding tube (or 'button' apparently) is. Apparently the scar looks like a belly button. Weird.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I enjoy reading your blogs and appreciate the wit and humor you have. For a 17yr old girl(young lady) you perspective on life is very well grounded. It is very important that you are able to laugh at yourself in the face of all the obstacles CF present. Just an fyi, I am 45yrs old w/CF so you can still look forward to many more years of all the joys(not really) that CF can bring.
gemmak said…
Fabby blog, you have amazing insight and maturity and a great sense of humour! Add to that your writing is very informative, I for one have learned a great deal about CF reading this tonight, keep at it and rant all you want :o)

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