Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Because staying up late is just that cool.

So, last night I was on the computer till about 2am. When I realised the time I thought I should probably go to sleep - not that I have to be anywhere the next day, it's just that I'd rather have my breakfast at some point the next day before you can consider it lunch. So, I logged off msn, switched off the laptop, put it on my desk, climbed back into the comfy space in my bed. And picked up my book. Which I began to read for a further 30 mins.

I just don't learn, do I?

I didn't manage to sleep until about 3am, which was starting to get annoying, but I did eventually drop off and woke up at 10am this morning, which isn't too shabby.

As much as I love the CF forums and such, I just can't seem to get over the feeling of not really belonging there. Why? God knows. But it's always when people are having a laugh and creating a ridiculously long and wonderful to read, and not to mention, bordering on physio b/c of how much it makes me laugh, topic, I just don't feel part of the group. It's like when you meet new people, say at a party, a meal or what have you, and whilst everyone knows each other, you're the one person who is standing there, quiet and keeping out of things b/c you don't know anyone.

I just don't like that feeling. I suppose from the CF2 site, it could be b/c that's an American site i.e. you get the odd person from UK, Australia and where ever else, but the majority are American (or Canadian). I don't know why I don't feel more involved in the UK forum though - maybe it's b/c whilst I do hover around I don't post on every single topic. And when I do say something in one of the bigger topics that everyone always likes to be a part of, whatever I have to say ends up sounding stupid, and sometimes off topic.

Anyway, abysmal blogging, social life and sleeping aside, I haven't done much. My cold finally buggered off, and I finished Cipro today, and it's probably had no effect. I'm probably going to end up resistant to it with all the times I take the thing and it doesn't even work b/c I apparently like to have a cold at the most inopportune time. My college course starts Saturday. I'm nervous but that is to be expected. And then I get to go to the Freeman hospital at some point in early Oct (I want to say the 10th, but I'm not 100% sure on the date, and checking the date involves moving from where I am. So sod it.) And I'm going to raise hell about my crappy hearing aids. I know that sounds bad, but these things are really rubbish. When I got them 5 years ago, I was told that they were 'digital' and that they'd help me focus my hearing more, i.e. I'd be able to block out background noise and hear the person I'm talking to, better, and this would help my hearing.

Did it fuck.

Anyway, as I'm sure my hearing has decreased in the last 5 years, and the simple fact that these HAs are just bordering on ridiculous b/c of their size, and the fact that I've heard that new HAs have different ear bits which would be ideal as I break the ear bits on the ones I have. This confusion over ear bits aside, new HAs are smaller and are probably much better than the ancient things I have. I know they obviously wouldn't be the best, as these are from the NHS and I'd have to pay for more expensive and advanced HA technology, but surely the NHS version that they have now is much better than it was 5 years ago.


Tori said...

Aww Megan you do belong!! Maybe it's because your a little younger than the majority who post a lot I'm not sure. Keep posting and stick your nose in and you'll soon feel like you belong.

Loads of people gave you love in my thread!! xx

Laura's medical journey said...

i know what u mean about the staying up late. ive been doing it a lot too lately! its like we can do it coz we have no where to go the next day...
on another note i should go back to the school i volunteer at but im waiting itl after ive had the button PEG fitted on 20th october. im rather nervous about it!
as for forums i feel the same i left a cochlear implant one because i didnt feel i knew anyone.

Anonymous said...

Keep posting Megan. It's the others who do not fit in to your group!. Of course people are interested in what you have to say - look at the number of followers you have - 37 plus me!

Good luck on Saturday, I am sure you will meet some new friends.


Gemma said...

Course you belong, like Tori says it might be your age. You are at that age where you need to feel accepted and trying to form your identity. Sorry thats my psychology side coming out! Just talk rubbish like me, half of the stuff I say have no relevance to the original posts haha!

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