Sunday, 27 February 2011

Saying goodbye.

I hate the finality of that title, but that's what I did. In truth, I prefer the saying 'It's not goodbye, but simply 'I'll see you soon'', cause no one really knows what actually happens. They're partying like rockstars up there, and you just live your life, in wait for your VIP ticket.

I lit a candle on Thursday for Lauren, as it was her funeral, and obviously I couldn't go. Turns out the candle was scented AND changed colours. Damn cool. I got upset after I'd blown out the candle as it just felt so final, and almost a bit more real. This will take time, and I understand that. I read this Winnie the Pooh quote last night that definitely sums everything up perfectly:

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

I have so much love for everyone who has been there for me and helped me through this. All the messages, chats, texts and hugs mean so much. And a lot more love for Gem who knew and loved Lauren just as much and is going through the exact same thing, but has been there every second

I'm feeling a lot better than I was pre-IVs so it looks like they've worked! I'm still coughing a lot but what can you do? Nothing really shifts my cough now a days so I've just learnt to deal. Even if it's incredibly annoying. I at least had the energy to go out for drinks for a few hours with people from college for someone's birthday on Friday. Luckily I actually got a lift with a couple of others to the pub we went to as I definitely wouldn't have been able to walk there from college with my lungs and my boots! And I actually wore a dress which I don't do often, haha. Have to admit though, I did love the compliments!

If you haven't seen it yet, I suggest you check out Kirsty's blog which is an incredibly inspiring read of her road to transplant and coping with CF.

Annnnnnd Jenni sent me post :D It was apparently the 'fastest snail mail ever' as it was sent the other evening and I got it the next morning. to quote Jenni, it was one bloody fast snail. That never happens! I get a bit giddy when I get something in the post that isn't crap from college/clinic/the bank. 

This was a bit of a random mix of a blog! Hope everyone's okay :)

1 comment:

Gem said...

:O Wow multi-coloured candle!!!! That's amazing!!! Defiantely going in search of one of those!!

You've been amazing too! Seriously, I have no idea how I'd have managed without you to talk things through with.

Aaaand now I've been prcrastinating about this essay for about 2 hours and really must finish it. Ahhhhhhh!!!


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