I'm pissed off with CF.
It's painful to find out that another person has lost the battle. Or that they've made the decision to go with dignity b/c they've fought all they can.
When I find things like this out, I react in two ways: I either get upset (obviously, which is understandable and how you'd expect people to react anyway) or I bottle it up. And I don't think about it. I try and keep busy with pointless stuff. And then when you're not expecting it, *boom* it all washes over you and you realise the truth.
And no amount of ignoring it, trying to pretend its not real, can fix it.
No matter how hard you try.
And then there's other people. Those who are waiting for the call that'll change their life. And it's painful to hear about how hard things are for them. But they're the strongest people you can know. And all you can do is hope they get that call in time.
I just.... I wish I could fix this.
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