Maybe I should invest in bubblewrap...

I had IVs in August to make sure that I was well enough for starting my new college course in Sept. Although logic in starting these IVs mid august when they only last for 2 weeks, is fucked, cause college doesn't start till 21st sept, and we all know how fast things go to shit the second you finish IVs.

I got a cold mid-IVs. Tres unimpressed. But by some miracle the cold disappeared a few days before IVs finished and I thought 'YES! Still a few days for IVs to potentially work'. Basically, the second I finished these IVs, the cold came back, and IVs were thus rendered useless. I was coughing worse than before and felt horrible. Literally had no energy or breath and when I have a cold, or feel crap in general, every single task seems 10x bigger than it actually is. So I started college feeling like shit and with all the work they threw at us I just felt like I wasn't coping. I kept saying 'I don't have time to be ill' and I was just generally frustrated at my lungs deciding to be little shits to me. We had my hosp appt moved forward a week, and I was straight back on IVs, for 3 weeks. So I spent 3 of my first 4 weeks at college trying to make sure that you couldn't see my port. Or rather, the tagaderm covering the gripper needle. Although unless I'm about to adopt some nun style up-to-the-neck get up, you're gonna be able to see it.

So I spent 3 weeks fully aware that people were generally looking south of my face, and not for the typical reason you'd expect blokes to be. I finally finished my 3 weeks of IVs and then a week later had a clinic appt. My weight and LF were identical to the previous results, which were taken just before I started IVs and felt like hell. Weird, considering now I felt better. Not 100%, but definitely way better than I would have been feeling sans IVs at this point if I'd never had them in the first place.

It was a fairly annoying appt where everyone stated the obvious. After 1 1/2 years with pleurisy I got an upgraded offer from paracetamol to codeine, but I refused it. I also refused to schedule my next IVs just yet, as the plan was to wait till my next appt in four weeks and see how I was doing then. I was fairly adamant to stay off IVs as long as possible as they just annoy me now, and they just don't work as much as they used to. If anything, they just stop me getting worse rather than get me any better.

So yeah, now I'm 1 1/2 weeks out of IVs.

Guess what:

I HAVE A FUCKING COLD!!!!!!

Gahhh, I might just start kicking small children that get in my eye line just to satisfy how pissed off I am about this. Add it to being on top of concussion *sigh*... break please?

Ah yeah, the concussion.

I apparently whacked my head on Tuesday (or thereabouts). Tues evening I had a headache and noticed a bump on the side of my head, with what must be a bugger of a bruise as I could barely even go near it.

The only weird thing is, I can't remember hitting my head. At all. I bump into stuff plenty but I think I'd remember this one. Plus, add this to the fact that I rarely ever bruise so for this to hurt this much, it must have been a proper whack.

By Weds I still had a headache, and had to go on two visits with college to the digitalab and the biscuit factory. Visits that were important as you had to write a 500 word report on each. I felt fairly spaced and wasn't really taking much in all day. My headache was getting progressively worse and I was starting to forget stuff - I had to go and pick up some negatives from Jessops, and I couldn't remember the words 'it's just negatives' when the woman asked me what size my prints were.

I managed to get home in one piece, just remembering my stop at the last minute as I took the bus. My headache was now trying to form it's own persona that probably had the power to bring down cities with pure mind power by now. And I started to get a temp and talk like a spaz. I generally talk too fast and trip over my words so people weren't noticing when I had to stop and think of what I was trying to say. I tried para two times to shift the temp and it never worked and never even expected it to touch this soul destroying headache. I managed to sleep off the temp and my headache was halved by Thurs so that was improvement, but it was still on/off all day. Added fun trippy dizzy moments continued till Thurs too. 3 day headache and I was ready to break out the mallet. I never bother with para for headaches, Ibu doesn't work and weirdly neither does codeine. So I just suffered rather than become a drug dispenser. Mad, maybe. But I don't like being high as a kite but still in pain.

Pretty sure my temp was from the cold which jumped onto centre stage on Thurs. And all the joy that comes with a cold. I woke up so many times throughout the night from my sore throat which has swollen up and is now restricting my breathing, so I realllllly hope it pisses off soon, cos every time I (pathetically) cough, it hurts, loads. My headache has almost gone so that's a plus.

At least I'm as caught up with my college work as I can be. Four 500 word reports written with concussion... maybe I should spell check.

The IV train never ends.

And I'm back on IVs again.

Annoyed is one word for it. 3 weeks out of my old IVs and boom, I'm back on the fuckers. I suppose I should shut up, I know people who are on them for a lot longer with even less time in between. But it's just such crap timing. If there was ever a time to not decide to get ill, constantly feel like death and need IVs again (for 3 weeks this time, something I rarely do as 2 weeks can usually last me)  it's during the first couple of weeks of starting a brand new course at college. The stress and exhaustion of the course is enough. But I hate feeling knackered at college. I point blank refuse to walk up the stairs. And if I've needed to be on the second floor I've either gone at a completely ridiculous snail pace, or used the lift, which I'm allowed to do cos it's for shifting loads of stuff from floor to floor, and disabled students.

Clinic on Monday was so annoying. I was ill and bitchy about it. My Doctor asked 'which are your favourite IVs?' when it came clear that IVs were my only port of call. Cos hell, even if cipro did work, it wasn't gonna pull me out of this hole I've landed myself in. I got annoyed straight away and said 'well it doesn't matter which IVs I like cos I'm gonna get the same ones anyway aren't I?' And I was right. It just bugs me how I've had Ceft for every single dose of IVs (and that's a minimum of 4 times a year) for the past 13 years, and I've had Colo for the last 2 years or something along those lines. (I had Tobra every time before that). It just bugs me how they say that the IVs work b/c their stupid microbiology tests show that I'm still sensitive to the drug, and yet I repeatedly say that they don't have the right to say what does or doesn't work b/c they're not the ones going through 2 or 3 weeks of antibiotics and finishing the course feeling just as shit as you did when you started. Fuck the tests. I consider the meds work when I FEEL better myself.

It's the cipro thing here mainly that no one seems to get - just b/c the tests say that I'm still sensitive, I don't think that actually proves it still works. For the last year, every time I was on it, it did nothing, and then the last time I was on it, I felt terrible until I finished the course. My Dr has agreed that I'm refusing cipro 'for now' but I don't think he actually agrees on my reasoning.

The dietitian pissed me off a treat too. I worked really really hard for the past year or so and got my weight up to 46-odd kg, for the first time ever. And then I bloody lost it and I'm back at 44kg which I was pretty much stuck at for ages before. (I sort of bounced between 42 and 44kg). So yeah, the dietitian said 'So why do you think you've lost the weight?' Uhhh cos I'm ill? They don't seem to grasp the fact that when you're ill, your appetite buggers off, and then you loose weight (which in turn gives the infection a boost, so it's a pretty evil cycle). It also reminds me of the time when my Dr pointed out that I'd lost about 0.4kg one morning at clinic... a clinic where I was having a glucose test.

Yeah, so this glucose test means you're not allowed to eat after a certain time the night before and you have to fast all bloody night and morning so they can steal some blood, give you a gross sugary drink and steal more blood. My point is cos you have to fast for 12 hours or something like that, I hadn't eaten since 9pm the night before. So obviously I was gonna loose a bit of weight. As small and pointless as the amount was. But the Dr pointed it out. Clearly captain obvious was in the room. Admiral common sense hadn't joined him though...

Basically I'm annoyed about the medical staff which I see way too often. And also, if I get a cold during these IVs, I'll actually single handedly kill the person who gives me it.

Everyone's sick.

And I feel helpless. Unfortunately there's no magic fix, so all I can do is ask everyone to please feel the fuck better. And hope that helps.

Um...

I'm bored. Obviously.

On Tues I went to see Toy Story 3, in 3D, with subs, with my younger sis. It was a good movie, I loved it. Even worth the 11 year wait. And I'm not a patient person. Here's me and my sis being oh-so-cool in our 3D glasses

Sorry for the shitty quality of the picture. Darkness & mobiles don't make the *best* of photos. Good popcorn too. You can never beat cinema style.

I had a driving lesson the other morning at 10am. Which, by the by, is the earliest I'll ever agree to. Thankfully my next one isn't till 1.15pm. Anyway, I officially love driving. Even if I still suck at junctions and stall like a bitch. But everyone tells me that they're the same and you eventually get the hang of it. And randomly stalling at junctions becomes a thing of the past. Which is good, cos everyone who drives behind me gets impatient.

My instructor is ace though, cos she flips them off as they over take me.