Looking back.

A couple of weeks ago, Gemma posted about finding an old diary and reading back through it. This gave me the idea to get up off my bum and fetch my old diaries. Been a while since I've read them, and they're just sitting in a desk drawer.

Random fact: the one I write in now is the multi-coloured spotty one

I have only one thing to say:

I talked a lot of crap when I was a kid.

Seriously. I started writing them when I was 13. Before that, I'd always meant to get round to it but never actually did. There's the odd notebook full of scribbles and drawings, and the occasional page where I'd write something down if I felt the need (I found a page folded up in a box of random things writing about how much of a bitch my year 8 form teacher was about my hearing. And I didn't even swear!)

I don't know when I started to write about CF stuff. The things in the first few dairies which take me to from about 13 - 16 bearly mention it at all, just things like having to go for a clinic appointment, not being happy with being on IVs cos they usually clashed with something I wanted to do, etc. The one I write in now has a seriously fair amount of CF stuff in. Everything from how shite I feel, how clinic went, worries and stuff about CF, basically everything and anything, but I talk about CF so casually and so much, which I sort of hate now, especially looking back at older diaries cos it means how much things have changed and how much it's impacted things from my thoughts to things I can physically do.

There's also random stuff which I love reading. Like things that happened at school/parties/in the summer, that there is no way I'd remember without them (my main reason for actually starting a dairy was b/c of my terrible memory. And it's really true b/c I can't even remember half the stuff happening. Sometimes vague memories come back though). Friends/boyfriends/exes get mentioned a chunk which is hilarious to read back to. And then you read the name of the guy you used to like and you think how delusional you were. All I can do is laugh really. Cos it's a load of babble from years ago.

Maybe it was one too many hits to the head from footballs.

"My head and footballs seem to have a really close relationship these days which I'm not really enjoying..." (Quote from a page written was I was about 15)

(Might go through them properly and find a few more quotes, cos seriously, I am NOT kidding how random and weird I was/am)