And back again.

After getting out of hospital last Friday, I felt good. I had a couple of off days and a couple of good days. I figured that was just everything sorting itself out and I'd be back to myself in no time. So I went to college as normal on Tuesday. And halfway through my lecture I started feeling crap again. And then noticed my fingernails were turning blue. Brilliant. I felt awful, nothing seemed to trigger this as it started randomly an hour and a half into a lecture where I'd been sitting doing literally nothing (not even really paying attention... ahem. But does anyone?) So I left with a support worker, and she made me sit until the main woman from student support came up and then they could decide what to do with me; they weren't keen on me driving home and wanted to call a taxi, I said no b/c I refused to leave my car at college. So in the end they had two support workers follow me home in their car to make sure I got home fine - which I did, I just felt a bit blahh.

This was quickly explained by checking my sats and being met with a lovely number of 83%.

For fuck sake!!

We eventually phoned clinic and they said I should go to ward 52 if I felt I needed to. I wanted to avoid hospital at all costs, but its a bit inevitable if you've got sats issues and no oxygen at home. I waited it out until about 9ish and the headache was actually crippling me, so I packed a bag (again, sigh) and my dad took me to EAU. A couple of nurses saw me who'd been on shift last time I was in and started cracking jokes about how I'll need a permanent bed there at this rate. What can I say, I just can't get enough of the damn place(!)

I had to wait about 2 1/2 hours until I got a bed. Ironically my sats decided to behave and be at 95% when I was in triage. Great... The whole time I was waiting, I was pissed off, and upset, and in pain, and they can't give you anything for it. I felt like my head was going to split in two, I could barely keep my eyes open from the pain and I was starting to just get physically and emotionally exhausted.

When I finally got a bed in a cubicle, the dr came around and did all her doctor-y tests. Sats at 97. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!? I felt awful, and my sats were just being morons at this point, I know what I feel like with crap sats so I didn't understand why they seemed fine on the machine. The dr seemed confused as hell with me so just gave me oxygen to see if it helped. It did, my headache went away, everything seemed clearer and i felt almost human again. Typical that this was at 3am and I wasn't tired anymore. Oh well, in time for a 3am xray!

I'm having so many xrays these days I'm fully expecting to end up with some trippy superpowers.

The next day, the physio came in, and doing physio with the sats monitor on and oxygen off resulted in a 170+ bpm heart rate and sats steadily dropping to the low 90s until the oxygen was shoved back on and they evened out again. I was still on EAU at this point too. That evening I got moved up to 52, back in the same shitty isolation room as there was literally no other rooms. Apparently there's a lot of CFs in at the moment. I felt bad taking up a bed as they're a lot iller than me and a fair few of them are in and out all the time. Then again, they have freeview, opening windows and fridges in their room. I had an alarm outside my door that wouldn't shut up. The sympathy was limited!! Because of so many being on the ward, I didn't get the CF menu, which meant that evening resulted in the most pitiful baked potato and a tiny pot of grated cheese. Don't eat it all at once(!)

Genuinely, I laughed at this for 20 minutes, expecting it to be a joke. Sadly, it wasn't. So I settled for eating my yoghurt and my jaffa cake bar. The next day wasn't any better food wise either - Im always asleep when they ask me if I want breakfast so I never want anything, and at lunch time, there was literally nothing left, except another baked potato (which I passed on this time, strangely enough) or a sandwich, which I'm not keen on. So I ate my pringles instead. Luckily my dad was already on his way to pick me up and take me home, as my sats were behaving all morning off the O2, and my dr told me to 'stop checking your bloody oxygen saturations' cos he's convinced that when I feel crap, I check them, see a low number and panic myself. That's not true, because I know they're low before I even check them, and I don't check them constantly. I didn't bother arguing this though. The sats monitor has been put away now anyway, haha!!

Anyway, yes, I'm out again and determined to stay out, as that place drives me a little bit insane. Plus, the nurses give evils to people when they leave 30 mins after visiting time is over, which is a bit over the top but what can you do! At the moment, I'm still being too lazy to organise (or contact anyone about...) my work experience, and I'm currently debating on whether or not I should go on the London trip with college at the end of Jan - we had a vote and people seemed to prefer London to abroad, cos they're boring fucks, so London it is, and it'll be 4 days full of traveling there, and back (which isn't going to be fun if its a coach, I think it takes at least 6 hours one way) and the rest of the days filled with walking around galleries and various other crap art places, which I actually HATE! I wanted to go abroad and get cool pictures. I've been to london before, I've done all that stuff, and I avoided the galleries the first time for a reason! Plus, this suggests that there's going to be a lot of walking, possibly a fair amount of stairs. Not sure if I'm prepared to pay £125 to exhaust myself, and I've got to hand the deposit in by Tuesday so it's decision time!!