Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Karma has a warped view of... karma.

If people knew me, they'd probably not laugh at me when they notice I didn't hear something, for example, when someone calls for me and I don't notice. If they knew me, they'd know full well that if they laugh and I notice, I'm very tempted to go over to the arsewipe(s) and punch them there and then right in the schnoz. But, unfortunately, I give off the impression of a (slightly grumpy) small, blonde kid, who is clearly younger than she'd like to appear - which is good when you're older, but not quite so great when you're 17. Also, as I don't exactly go parading around in my karate suit, they have no idea I was a blue belt before I jacked it in. (Long story, involving some sadistic karate teacher who would only seem to let the guys go to grading. Basically, if I was a guy, I would have had my brown belt ages ago. So I had a perfectly good excuse for getting sick of the place).

Anyway, back to where I started. Last Thursday I went to the hospital for more IVs (Joy unbounded, I just can't stop coughing). I was sitting opposite some woman, who was with her two daughters, and after the youngest daughter (who had CF) went off to see the doctor or something, the nurse called for me, and when I didn't hear her, the two women started to snigger.

Now, I think this is incredibly rude, plus, seeing as their daughter has CF as well, she could also end up with her hearing affected by antibiotics. (Well, if karma gets a shift on, yeah). At hospital, its the last place you expect to be laughed at because of something medically wrong with you. At school I got used to it (And the threat of being punched in the gob soon took effect) but I really hate how people will laugh at things like that when they're not even my fault.

But basically, I thought it was time for another hearing rant. As far as I'm aware, people with CF who have had their hearing wrecked by antibiotics are at least in their 20-30's, or if they're my age, they're on constant antibiotics. Yes, I know I am too, but I mean constant as in never actually being off IVs. If you ever saw that channel 4 programme about a boy called Alex, who was 17 with CF, he mentions how he has a significant hearing loss because of the constant stream of IVs, as he basically never had them off, yet my hearing got wrecked when I was about 9 -10, when I was having IVs about every 3 months, minimum. Every time I come across some CF person who's hearing isn't wrecked, or at least not as bad as mine is (I haven't come across another CF person who wears hearing aids) I get a bit pissed off. Quite rightly too.

Speaking of karma, I mentioned in the first post that I made, that I haven't found a reason why I have CF, or a reason why I'm so ridiculously deaf (Ironically enough, my whole family has bloody marvellous hearing. Typical.) I really want to know why these things have happened to me as I tend to live by the phrase 'Everything happens for a reason' (Yet when I think about it, there's so many significant things that have happened without a proper reason). I thought, there must be a reason why I've got CF, but if its a karmic reason, what the frig could I have done as a foetus to deserve something as crap as CF?

Swearing on an ultrasound springs to mind...


Christy said...

WOW.. I've had similar experiences. I am deaf in my left ear and mostly deaf in my right due to IV antibiotics. I was sitting in the waiting room at the transplant clinic and a woman started talking to me. My husband was taking a nap on the bench, but when I got up to go talk to the lady at the front desk, he heard her tell the people she was with that I was so rude for ignoring her. I DIDN'T HEAR HER. My husband said she had just been talking about how she has learned so much from God this year including patience. UHHHHH.. right!!!
So yeah, I feel your pain, and it makes me angry when people laugh at us or make fun of us (or call us rude) for something we can't help.
Hang in there.. and btw, your writing is beautiful.

Lil' Chris' Mom said...

I'm really glad you talked about this. I found your blog thru Christy's. I have a 1 1/2 year old boy with CF. The doctors mentioned to us one time when he was first diagnosed that they would check his hearing like once a year or something, but I just thought it was b/c the Vest is loud or something. The doctor never explained about the antibiotics effecting his hearing.
Thank you so much for sharing this info. I'm glad I know now:)

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