Reasons to listen, Ironically enough.

What exactly do the 'lab guys' do all day? Where is that gene therapy for Cystic Fibrosis that was promised? Hell, even some drugs that would actually get rid of the chest infections that I have permanently would be welcome. Oddly enough, I don't think that money from various charities for research for cures are actually going to the expected cause. I think they must be spending it on lifetime supplies of kit-kats. Either that or they just spend more time trying to create a Dr-Who type time machine than searching for something important. No one really cares about what is inside the atom, or what force is exerted when you drop an apple (although try telling that to a teacher in year 11 without getting detention.) What I really want is to get better. I would love do one of them charity runs for CF one day (maybe even put it on my 'things to do' list) if I wasn't worried I'd be completely puffed out within the first 5 minutes of gentle jogging. Unfortunately it's not like I've got much choice in how well I am. The bastard that is the CF gene seems to be a pretty damn dominating one.

Apparently they're trying to regrow the little hairs in your ear if you've got damaged hearing. It sounds a bit funky, but I know that its the vital part of hearing and that's what got wrecked in me. I read an article ages ago on how it's research on how to hopefully fix the hearing of people who have lost their hearing to things like medication. Now chop chop, I'd love to listen on an I-Pod one day, maybe even watch a TV programme without subtitles. Do you know how embarrassing it is to try and make up an excuse to a mate when they offer you the other earphone so you can listen on their I-Pod with them?! Of course my closest mates know I'm deaf (obviously, or else they'd have to be pretty dim not to notice) but with others, I stick with the excuse that earphones give me a headache. And I get a weird look for that. But hey, as long as they don't find out the truth. People just think I've got crap hearing (and yell at me, dammit) they don't know about the hearing aids, and I don't mind that, as when you think 'hearing aids' you automatically think '70 year old'. So, when they do get that hearing cure all up and running, I'd love to have my first proper phone conversation for the first time in years (probably since I was about 8 or 9).

On the bright side, (until that time comes at least) I've got a very slim chance of developing one of those posh 'telephone voices'.

Solved the riddle.

Cracked it. It was the tablets that I took to fight off the MRSA that had me feeling like I'd done 5 rounds with Mike Tyson. It's even more frustrating that I found out I didn't even need those tablets - the Doc showed me the test results that said I'd already fought off and gotten rid of the MRSA on my own before I'd started the tablets, most likely because of the antibiotics I already take, but had to continue cause I'd already started them.

Good thing is I took the last one this morning, so I can finally sleep, eat, stop feeling pukey all day and actually get some work done. Yesterday, half way through art, I couldn't do anymore work, could barely breathe and when I stood up my friend needed to grab my arm to stop me meeting the floor. It must have been a panic attack or something, as I was so ill yesterday, shattered and scared about the fact every time I tried to go to sleep, I felt like my breathing almost stopped. I don't know how I functioned over three days with less then 4 hours sleep in total.

Right now, I'm actually wondering if anyone reads this. I seriously doubt that it's anyone I know as they don't do the blog stuff. But if they did see this, I'm sure they'd recognise that it's me (without looking at my name on the profile) as my display picture is one we took a year ago whilst messing about one lunch. I had the choice of the star fingers, double star fingers, or five shoes put together in the middle. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, but you'd be surprised how amazing that picture looked and how amazingly artistic a random picture like that can look, when a bunch of 16-year-olds are pissing about with a camera.

I don't really have much else to say after two or so days. Off I pop then.

So why can't i sleep?

I just don’t seem to be able to sleep at the moment. I don’t even know why, which is probably not helping the sudden development of insomnia. But it’s not like I’ve got a million things running through my mind, or if I drink coffee right before I go to bed (I hate coffee, in true British style, I prefer tea, but still, the last cup of tea I had last night was about 5.30pm)

It’s incredibly frustrating that over the last two nights I’ve probably had about 5 hours sleep in total. It would be ironic that my insomnia was caused by the fact I have insomnia. Although it’s not usually this bad. Maybe in the night just when the holidays end, when I’m back to school the next day, its difficult getting enough sleep, but maybe because I’ve usually been asleep till 1pm earlier that day. But it’s just odd that I’m awake at 4am still checking the clock to see how much time I’ve got to ‘sleep’ before I have to be up at the crack of 7am.

As I type this, I’m shattered, but even when I do try and sleep with my head on the desk, I still can’t sleep. Annoyingly enough, I got up for school like I always do, and when I do get here, I find out that my teacher who is meant to take my 2nd and 3rd lesson (I have a free for first -which is when I’m writing this) is off, so there was no point in even coming into school today, as thanks to 6th form and my lovely combination of ‘Frees’, I’m usually out of school by 12.30 and setting off on that 30 minute walk to my sister’s house as I live a good 30 minutes drive from the school. But no one even offers me for a lift to my sister’s, which is annoying, as at the moment, I have a rogue stomach muscle which feels like a stitch. I think I mentioned this in my last post. Anyhoo, the little bugger is still there, painful as ever, and making me catch my side in pain when I trek across the art room. OWWWW!

Hey, check it out, my first follower. Yey!