2015 roundup

(god it feels weird to say 2015 is over)

I usually do these on a month by month break down. But frankly I've done absolutely fuck all most months, and to lay it out like that would be depressing (went to the gym, went to the hospital, watched tv, repeat). A handful of amazing things happened. A handful of equally crap things happened. Its been a big mix! So I think I'll dive in...

I think a main thing that happened was definitely house. I've said before, we went from a 1st floor flat to a house, and everything has changed so much. It's also warmer thanks to the less drafty layout of the house too. Moving has totally changed my general happiness because this place is so nicer than the flat. Also the ability to just cook away when I like because I have ROOM for it! Usually I just make cakes or meringues and then stuff my face as I have no one but John to share with. Their loss.

I've had quite the usual share of IVs. I'm not sure how many exactly, but my last ones were after a mammoth (for me) 4 months off them, when at some points in the last couple of years (including December 2014) I managed a shocking 2 weeks. I do have to gauge for myself when I need them as my team don't generally do bloods, including infection levels unless you're more ill than usual/having annual review or admitted, but they do test sputum which at least means you know you're getting the right drugs. However this does on occasion make me wonder how many times in the past I've had pointless IVs - where my CRP is low, but some other mystery is causing the cough. I'm looking into nasal rinses at my next appointment - I think post nasal drip is becoming quite a fuck off issue for one of the reasons why I cough so much at night - no matter how long (or short) its been since my IVs.

Other wise, my lung function seems to have stayed relatively stable and my weight has too which still astounds me. I still get tired easily - I was tired by 10pm new years eve, and was pretty much sitting for most of it (although at a friends house and I did have a drink in my hand, I'm trying not to become a complete old woman just yet)

I had far too many hospital appointments, not just clinic, but xrays, dexa scan, liver scan, physio, research, dentist, opticians, and ENT, including a cochlea implant assessment, because 'no thanks, I'm not interested and don't want a cochlea implant' means 'yeah please send me for the bloody assessment for an operation that would be faaaaantastic for my lungs'. No doubt this year will have just as many, but hopefully not so many that leave me frustrated and annoyed. And I'm hoping somehow we'll find something that will help my back, especially after the disaster that was acupuncture. I really should be able to stand more than a minute before being in pain so much I have to desperately find somewhere to sit.

Gym has progressed well for me. I started with 3 general gym sessions a week. I don't have a trainer, I don't have a gym buddy, and I'll admit, I wish I did have someone to go with (or could afford a trainer) as its hard to push yourself every time. I even continue to go while on IVs, cos if theres any time where the gunk needs seriously shifting, its when IVs dehydrate you and everything turns to rock. About mid way into the year I started classes, specifically because my motivation has seriously waned with gym sessions. Even the instructors don't help. They just sit at the desk and drink coffee or do stuff on the computer which looks nothing like work. So I started body pump express. I started with a bar and 2 1.25kg plates on, I've increased to a bar with two 2.5kg plates, and when you increase through the lesson, I can sometimes try and add two 1.25kgs so I've got 7.5 total. Thats a nice increase from 2.5kg! I can't always manage an increase though. I have to stop comparing myself with people who started at the same time (or after) who started with equally low weights and now start with 10kg at the beginning of the lesson. Even the old women can pissing lift more than me.
I also do pilates now, when I manage to get a space in the class, as it books up fast. We have a mix of teachers, probably depending on whoever's free that day, but some are great and some piss me off a treat as I can't hack standing around for 5 minutes between each move while they explain. My aim for this year is to try and attend a full hours body pump class, maybe as well as the express (30 mins) class, as my general gym attendance is still shit. Usually cos it takes me so long to go that I time it badly and go when its busy or full of school kids. Yes I'm coughing, yes I'm fine, and no I don't need to be reminded to have a drink.

I didn't get anywhere on the job front at all, I've applied to so many. I keep getting unrealistic suggestions from friends, like selling photos as a business or craft things - I'm in craft groups and see people struggle a lot, and they're the ones who's things are perfect. Im happy with my general craftiness but they're not sellable standard and I don't have the money to get things started/continue making things when sales dip. My things are just wonky enough that I'm happy or a friend is happy with it as a gift, but I could never sell as the pressure to finish something perfect enough on time would be huge. Also, I don't think I could manage a business myself - I've watched my boyfriend and his business partner do it and I know the stress is huge. I also can't do more of the basic jobs - anything standing, lifting or speaking to people a lot (like in a shop) as my hearing is so bad. I'm sick of explaining this to people as I look like I'm making excuses, but I struggle to understand a whole conversation from people I've known my entire life. With strangers, I get about 3 words of it. If I was at a checkout and someone asked for a bag or cash back or whatever, Id either not know they've spoken or do the idiot smile and nod thing because I think they've been talking about the weather.

The trial finishes soon, its a grey area and I'm confused about how things continue after, but then again, I probably should broadcast online what I know so far so you'll get nothing out of me here. I have an eye test coming up as they had one to start too - I presume thats to make sure theres no serious changes compared to the one they did at the start of the trial too. So thats a day with those drops that make you semi blind, what a fun day I'm gonna be having.

I did go to Harry Potter studios, and met up with Gem which is one of the bigger highlights too! Wonder what we'll do this year as we want to keep it an annual thing (and frankly based on that I see her more than some other useless friends).

(in trying to find a few photos to sum the year up, I realised there's only about 5 tagged photos of me on my facebook since last years new year photos. There's usually tonnes. How's that for a hermit life?)

I gained glasses to my annoyance. Because I don't already have enough sitting on my ears. Luckily theyre for driving/watching tv etc rather than everything 

Yay(!)

One of my many makes! A penguin mosaic tray. 

Obviously loving the gym. So much happiness right there!

This had to be done! She's a classy girl

Hopefully this year will have some changes! There's a couple of things happening, including us saving up for a holiday and maybe a trip up to the top end of scotland to visit John's aunt and uncle, a break is always nice to have, and if we're very very lucky, because of how high up they are, we could try and catch a viewing/photo of the northern lights. I know these are impossible to predict more than a day or so ahead so it does come down to luck (and the right conditions) but we can always try!

Hope everyone has a lovely 2016!