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Showing posts from November, 2009

I cough too much.

My cough hates me. It's like, it stores up loads of coughing until I'm out in public and then I'm hit with one of those oh-so-fun and spectacular coughing fits.

I mean, really, even in the swimming pool.

Oh well. I'm gonna have to learn to deal with it. Right now, my favorite way to do this is to just flip them off when they turn around. I clearly swear too much, but what the hell. Why not?

I think it's the cold that did it. The stupid thing is, the IVs I've not long finished were b/c I was coughing a lot, although not really considered as that ill at the time as my LF was stable and my weight was up. So, the IVs were more or less to try and stop my cough, as coughing all day and night takes too much energy and it's harder to gain weight when all said energy is going towards coughing and fighting infections.

Where was I? Ah yeah. Basically, the IVs probably didn't work as much as they should have. I've no idea why, but I was still coughing afterwards. I…

Nothing else to say.

Gone but not forgotten, yeah?

There's just no words to explain what you feel when you loose a Cfer. So...

For Jo, Phil and Court. And everyone else.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhh.

I'm pissed off with CF.

BIG TIME.

It's painful to find out that another person has lost the battle. Or that they've made the decision to go with dignity b/c they've fought all they can.

When I find things like this out, I react in two ways: I either get upset (obviously, which is understandable and how you'd expect people to react anyway) or I bottle it up. And I don't think about it. I try and keep busy with pointless stuff. And then when you're not expecting it, *boom* it all washes over you and you realise the truth.

And no amount of ignoring it, trying to pretend its not real, can fix it.

No matter how hard you try.

And then there's other people. Those who are waiting for the call that'll change their life. And it's painful to hear about how hard things are for them. But they're the strongest people you can know. And all you can do is hope they get that call in time.

I just.... I wish I could fix this.

Writer's block.

Or is it blogger's block in this case? Either way it sounds stupid. But [obviously] it means I can't think of a thing to blog about. There's nothing interesting about how I've got another cold, or how I've sat at home doing naff all b/c I'm lazy.

My Dad tried to explain film cameras to me again, and showed me how to use the flash gun for it too, but in all honesty, I was incredibly uninterested. I don't think its the cold - I just really hate film cameras when I can use digital. I don't agree with darkrooms (I stand about like a total pleb b/c I can't hear what my friends are saying, and my job is the shortest job of the lot and takes about a minute.) and to be perfectly honest, film cameras hate me. They utterly perplex me.

I think I've accomplished a lot today, which surprised me given the total lack of energy. I've done a few loads of laundry, the proper way by separating stuff, so things like my jeans don't ruin my hoodie (I love my ho…

Buses are fun.

I mentioned in the last post I went out on Saturday night. Now, I'm usually still quite good with remembering my meds, even when I've been out, but last week I totally forgot once I'd gotten home. Which means I totally broke my several month streak of never missing morning meds.

Fuck. I was proud of that.

The guy on the forum still won't piss off. Grr. It's so annoying as he doesn't even talk about anything to do with CF. When people ask him why in the hell is he on a forum relating to CF, he says 'My mate has CF' and then bangs on about whatever crap it is at the moment. So yes, homicide is looking ever appealing now. That guy clearly brings out the worst in me. I'm not usually this pissed at someone I don't even know.

I started swimming last week. I sort of underestimated how much effort goes into swimming. Like I've said before, it's been years since I actually went swimming that wasn't on holiday, and the first length in the pool pr…

Why you shouldn't give some people the time of day...

Anyone who goes on the UK CF forum knows that there's been a bit of... how would you put it... excitement the past few days. By the by, I'm not writing this to piss people off, I'm writing it b/c I want to and b/c bugger all else worth blogging about has happened.

And to be honest, to hell with it and I'm gonna blog about it b/c the main person involved probably wouldn't set anywhere near this blog should he think I've rigged his computer to explode or something.

Some people just take paranoia to bullshit levels.

Anyhoo, so this person wanders in, saying he has a friend with CF. Fair enough, I've seen people post in the past maybe asking questions about CF as their friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/complete stranger has CF, and they want to understand more or... whatever. But this guy asks questions completely unrelated to CF, which begs the question why didn't he go onto a forum more related to his problems.

All in all, arguments ensued and caused several thread…

'Yup, you're fucked.'

Pleurisy? Still? This is actually getting ridiculous. All I did was hiccup and it bloody hurt. I'm tired of writing about pleurisy and how my lungs hurt with every other fucking breath and how if pleurisy was a person, I'd like nothing more than to kick it's face in, and run off laughing and skipping knowing that the bugger will leave me alone.

Ok, so maybe that last part is new.

I'm gonna be stuck with it forever. I know it. The other night, I was laughing, and I had to [attempt to] try and stop laughing b/c it really hurt. Some days its bad, but other days it's barely even there, and thus it makes it twice as painful when it comes back. There HAS to be something I can do to get rid of it. I'm not pleading for more IVs b/c frankly, I'm too afraid I'll become resistant to them when I'm not technically ill, I'm just in agony when I hiccup, or laugh, or obviously if I sneeze b/c that pulls at your lung muscles like you wouldn't believe. Pleurisy…

Photo hacking madness.

Image
I utterly love this picture. Mainly b/c of the photoshop job I did on it. But it's my own picture that I took and photohacked it on my own, so hence the fact that I'm quite majorly proud of it.

At college. Yes, I know we were meant to be working but you can only edit 20 something photos for so long. And bear in mind we were sitting in the same place for about 5 hours, and we left an hour early b/c we'd done all the work. We used Macs, and I'm on the fence about those things. Sometimes they're quite fun, easy and simple to use, and other times you want to run to the nearest bridge and drop the fucker off it. Like the time when it took forever to load the facebook page (oh, I'm a student; do you honestly expect me not to go on facebook when presented with a computer to sit in front of for several hours?)



And then there's these ones. I can't decide whether I like the full colour one or the part colour, part black and white. And then I noticed that this blog…